Finding the words

Sometimes I ask myself what keeps me writing here.  Yes, part of it is about spreading information, whether helping people find new places to climb or sharing the landscapes I've seen in my travels.  And sometimes it serves a more selfish purpose, writing for the sake of writing, articulating my thoughts exactly as I want them, and so building the illusion of a more confident and more eloquent me.  Fake it 'til you make it, right?  

Writing is easy.  With writing, I get to take my time.  Frequently too much of it.

Talking is harder unless it's about climbing, or beer, or my obsession of the moment.  Sometimes the words just don't come, and I don't get them back until the need for them has passed.  Not to mention the fact that even people close to me sometimes struggle to differentiate my happy from my angry. At least Bitmoji has helped me out with that.

A few days ago, after Emily had been away for weeks, we were riding in the car and the color of the trees was so stunning that I had to share it.  "Look!" is what I should have said.  "Those trees are beautiful" would have summed it up perfectly.  Instead the words got stuck, and my hand started to shake, which wasn't helpful considering I needed it on the steering wheel.

"Something's pretty," Emily said, "what's pretty?"

I almost cried.  Aside from the odd revelation that I've apparently assigned "that's pretty" its own recurring gesture, I felt so unbelievably lucky to have found someone who understood me even when I wouldn't have.

It's funny the things we never think to look for until we already have them.

Wishing all of you success in finding your own words, and someone to be the guide you didn't know you needed.